


Oblivion

by HunterMay18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Rape, Self Harm, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1852645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterMay18/pseuds/HunterMay18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boy full of curiosity but a shattered mind, tries to understand the other who is so close to the edge already ready to jump into oblivion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Harry is suffering from depression, and well, so is Louis. But, they are both suffering through it differently. Louis goes through his days to try to understand what it's like to be in Harry's shoes, since his depression is worse. Upon the realization, Harry realizes that Louis was the weight that kept him from exploding, into oblivion.

Part 1.

 

Harry and Louis, they were more alike than they both realized. They both suffered from depression, but one suffered worse than the other. Every night when they fell asleep, they both just wanted it to end, but one of them wished it really could happen.

That one was Harry. His depression wasn’t brought on by nothing, he had a horrible childhood and it was bound to happen this way. Only by the age of 14 was he diagnosed with a case of severe depression, but he never did take a blade to his skin; he knew he was better than that. But there were days when he just wanted to end it all, but never knew how or even wanted to do it. Those same days, he would just lock himself in his room and stare into the darkness that was his room; he didn’t paint his walls black for nothing.

Friends came and gone throughout his life, but no one ever understood that he was longing for a friend, just one friend, yet no one obliged. No one stood up, no one stayed. No one knew that was another reason why his depression got even worse. Since no one wanted to be around him, he thought that it was because they didn’t want to be around the “depressed” or “sad” kid. It wasn’t that, they just didn’t know how to approach him. How would you approach someone who was constantly upset or never really smiled? That’s how everyone felt around Harry, but what they didn’t know was that he was trying-- trying to be happy, trying to smile, he was trying to be the person that everyone else wished he could be, but in reality, he wasn’t. He was just Harry, the all around depressed kid.

One day, that all would change. In a leap of fate (at least that’s what Harry called it) he met his savior, literally. Harry was just about ready to end his life, when an intriguing boy stopped him. He stopped him from going to jump the bridge, he stopped him from ending his life, he stopped him from doing the one thing he wished he could accomplish. He stopped him with one sentence, a sentence that would change his life forever, “Umm, could you help me find a place to stay?”

Harry turned around from where he was headed and cocked his head to side before the boy repeated himself once again. Harry replied with a simple, “None of the hotels are any good.”

“Ohh, but do you know where I could stay, just for the night?”

Harry’s palms became sweaty and his heart started to race. He started to panic slightly because he wanted to let the boy stay with him, but he didn’t want to be judged because of what he suffered from. But, that all went out the window when he felt a hand on his shoulder and a pair of blue eyes that pierced into his soul. “You alright, mate?”

Harry just nodded slightly before he uttered, “Umm, you could stay with me, i--if you want?” Harry felt the blood rush to his neck and face, and he believed that the boy totally thought that he was a freak.

The boy stepped back and replied, “Really? You would let a complete stranger stay with you? I could be a murderer for all you know.”

Harry’s eyes widened and the boy saw his mini freak out. “Hey, mate i’m just pulling your strings. I can assure you that I am definitely not some murderer. So, you sure about me staying with you?”

“It’s not like anyone else ever does.” Harry started to walk back to his house, and the boy just quietly walked behind him.

“You know, I never got your name. I’m Louis.”

“I’m Harry,” he replied as he opened the door to his apartment. He kicked off his shoes and walked straight into his room. He shut the door and locked it.

Louis just stayed in the doorway before he kicked off his own shoes. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and sighed, “This is going to be a long night.”

And Louis’ intentions were not stay there for only one night.

**

 

After quite sometime, Louis decided to ask Harry if he wanted something to eat. Even though Harry was depressed, he never once missed a meal. **  
**

Louis knocked on his door; he could hear the faint sound of music coming from the room. “Hey, it’s Lou, I was going to order some food and I wanted to know if you wanted something.”

Before Louis got an answer, Harry opened the door, “What were you planning on ordering?” He spoke as it came out almost as a slight whisper.

“Well, what’s good around here?” And well, Harry didn’t go back into his room until he was too tired to stay awake. He told Louis that there was a guest room he was welcome to have if he liked.

“Lou, I’m going to bed,” Louis nodded and finally noticed how droopy Harry’s eyes looked, “The guest room is opposite mine, next to the bathroom. You can crash there.” He mumbled the last part as he yawned and it made Louis yawn as well.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, now goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay, goodnight Harry!” Louis beamed as he skipped ahead of Harry. Harry stopped in his tracks and looked dumbfounded at what had just happened. He shook his head slightly and walked into his room, shutting the door tightly and literally plopping on his bed.

And if Harry smiled once that night, then it would have been a sight to see.

**

Having Louis there was different to say the least, but it was a good different. Harry laughed, he actually  _laughed_  and it was the longest stretch of someone ever hearing the laugh that came out of him.

Louis was different,  _different_  than most, but a good different in Harry’s opinion. Harry always thought about Louis, he thought about him in the morning when he got up from sleeping (sometimes he wished he didn’t wake up), and throughout the day when Louis would leave to go to work, and Louis was always the last thing on his mind when he went to bed.

Harry smiled, actually  _smiled_  whenever Louis smiled at him. But who could blame him? His smile was so contagious and breathtaking, you’d be blind if you couldn’t smile back at him. Louis was by far Harry’s biggest weakness. He made him think of things  _differently_  than he ever did before. He made him think that there was more to life than he thought. Louis gave Harry the one thing that he longed for, the one thing that no one ever could be to him--  _a friend._

Louis becoming Harry’s friend was seriously the biggest thing that could have ever happened to Harry. It made Harry actually think good about himself, like there wasn’t anything wrong with being the way he was and that someone actually liked,  _liked_  him for who he was.

Harry started to see things differently, but he would still have those random outbursts when Louis wasn’t there. He would curl into a ball and rock back and forth on his bed under the covers. It was normal, but he would usually wake up to see Louis go to work, but this morning he slept in and he freaked out.

But what he didn’t know was that Louis was almost an hour late to work because he waited, he  _waited_  for Harry to wake up. Louis couldn’t wait any longer and he did do something before he left. He went into Harry’s room and lightly kissed his forehead. He saw Harry’s mouth twitch into a slight smile and he was happy with that reaction, even though he wasn’t really awake, and then he was out the door.

Harry didn’t feel it, he really didn't; he thought it was part of his dream. He was dreaming about Louis though. It was an intimate dream, but not so  _intimate_  that he would get off from it. It was more like a connection type of being intimate with each other.

In the dream they were lying facing each other, and just smiling at one another. Louis had brought his hand to Harry’s and squeezed it lightly before he scooted closer to him to where their noses were touching. Louis nuzzled his nose against Harry’s and the latter blushed before moving his head down. But Louis put one finger under his chin and moved it up to look into his eyes. Once Louis had looked into his eyes, he saw everything, everything that Harry was about. He saw a lonely little boy who was just looking for a friend, for someone to accept him for who he was.

The part where Louis kissed Harry’s forehead was because he said the one thing that Harry wished would happen already, “Harry I  _accept_  you, I accept you for who you are. You, my friend, are amazing and genuine. I don’t ever want to see that smile upside down.” Outside of the dream, a tear slipped from his eye because even in his dreams he knew it wasn’t true, but when Louis had kissed him on the forehead, it was the exact same time that it happened in the dream. So in reality, anyone could have gotten that mixed up.

And that’s how Louis found Harry when he got home, curled into a ball while he was still rocking back and forth.

“Harry?” Louis quickly went to him and grabbed his face in his hands, “Harry, calm down, I’m right here, Love. Open your eyes.”

Harry opened his eyes and catapulted himself at Louis. “I’m sorry, I got upset for nothing!” he spoke through his violent sobs. Louis tried to calm him down by rubbing at his back, but he really needed to get Harry all cried out. After a few more minutes Harry lifted his head from Louis’ chest.

“All done?” Louis spoke a he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair as he nodded slightly. “Now, tell me why you’re all upset, please?”

“You’ll laugh at me…” Harry spoke as he started to twiddle his thumbs.

“I will never laugh at you, you crying is not a laughing matter.”

“I thought that you left me for good. You always wait for me until I wake up, but you weren’t there when I opened my eyes.”

“Harry, I waited and was about an hour late to work. I wanted to wait longer, but my work has an hour grace period with lateness. I can’t lose the only job that is keeping us here. But I did leave a kiss on your forehead before I left. Your lips twitched into a slight smile and that’s when I knew I could leave.”

Harry quickly moved his head up, “But I thought that was my dream?”

“You dream about me, Harry?” Louis spoke with a wink.

“....No,” Harry whispered as his face turned crimson.

Louis ruffled his hair. “Don’t be shy. It’s your dreams, do with them what you want. Don’t be ashamed; you cannot help it.”

Harry moved his head up and they both just looked at each other. They leaned in and for once in their existence, their lips connected with someone they truly cared about. They both pulled away, and Harry smiled. He  _smiled_  because he truly believed that Louis loved him. He truly believed that once in his lifetime, someone actually cared about him.

Louis dragged his thumb over Harry’s now swollen lips, “Harry, you are something.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Good something or bad something?” He looked at Louis with pleading eyes.

“Good something, of course it would be a good something.”

“You’re a good something as well, Louis.” Louis beamed and he connected their lips once more in a nice slow kiss.

And for once, someone actually  _cared_  about Harry.

**

There was finally a day where Harry was the one not in the apartment. He had to go to his appointment with his psychologist. It wasn’t his idea.

Louis was finally able to think freely about the whole situation with Harry. It had been a few months since Harry had let Louis stay the night, and well, he never asked him to leave so it wasn’t like he was overstaying.

You could say that Louis was  _a lot_  like Harry, because well, he was. He was also a sufferer of depression, just not as severe as Harry. He made himself happy by helping others, by helping those who need someone there for them. Someone like Harry.

Louis’ depression was brought on by an abusive childhood; his father wasn’t a pleasant person to be around, especially when he was drunk. And then there was also the torment received from the countless bullies throughout his whole high school career. It wasn’t his fault that his parents never bought him new clothes and he wore the same thing every couple days (they were washed, though.) His sexual orientation played a large role as well. Coming out as gay when he was only fourteen was huge, and not many people liked it. They all claimed that it was just an act, a phase is what his psychologist told his parents, but it wasn’t. It was who he was, it was who he wanted to be.

The tormenting became a daily thing when it came to his life. Then the alcoholic abuse from his father was just the icing to the cake. And well, his mother didn’t care.

It resulted in actually bringing a blade to his skin, and that was when he finally felt relief. He felt the pain of yesterday, and everyday before that leave his body through the little droplets of blood that cascaded down his arms and legs. It wasn’t that bad, right? Well, it wasn’t until one day.

He knew it was going to happen, he just knew it, but he wasn’t ready for it. He strolled into school, well not really, and he immediately heard the laughter following him. He looked around and he wanted to know why, why was everyone laughing? Was there something on his face, his back, his bum? But there was nothing, so what could they be laughing about?

As soon as he turned the corner, he knew, he knew what they were laughing about. They found out, they found out about his secret.

All over the walls were photos,  _photos_  of his scars, his bruises and just everything they could have found incriminating about him. The laughter, it pierced through him like bullets penetrating his skin, and he didn’t like it. The laughter kept echoing through his mind as he ran, he just  _ran_  until his body couldn’t go anymore. He wanted everything to just stop, he wanted it all to go  _away_. He made it to his house in record time. No one was home and he was happy about that.

He thought and  _thought_  about what he wanted to do. He ran up the stairs and locked himself into his connected bathroom. He slid to the floor as the tears were cascading down his face; he just wanted it all to end. He wanted the pain to go away.

He found the one thing that he needed, the one thing that helped him with the pain, the one thing he regretted doing in the span of his life. But once he started, it became an addiction that he couldn’t get rid of.

He stared at the blade for a few more minutes, but as soon as he went to dig it into his skin, he couldn’t. He pictured in his mind slicing his arm right along the vein and how he could just end it. He just couldn’t go through with it. He wanted to, he  _really_  wanted to just end his life right there. He dropped the blade and wrapped his arms around his knees as he rocked back and forth on the floor of the bathroom.

After about ten minutes of his constant cries and rocking, he got a good idea that would benefit everyone. He started to pack up his things and he  _left_ , he just left and didn’t look back. And then that was how he ended up with Harry.

He knew with just one look at the other boy what he was going through; he knew he was suffering, he knew he needed help. So, that’s what Louis did. To help himself, he was going to help Harry.

**

When Harry walked through the door, he noticed Louis fast asleep on the couch, and as he got closer to him he saw the evident tear tracks on his face. His eyebrows furrowed and he wondered what he could have gotten upset about. He shook his head to get rid of the thought and kicked off his shoes. He took a look at Louis once more before he slipped in behind him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around Louis and for once, he was happy with how his life could possibly turn out.

He heard Louis whine in his sleep and Harry just raised his eyebrows, waiting to see what would happen. But nothing else came out of Louis’ mouth, so he relaxed and molded himself into the back of the couch.

Right before Harry slipped into a well needed sleep, Louis turned his body and softly kissed Harry’s lips before snuggling into his chest, falling right back asleep. Harry smiled and placed his chin on top of Louis’ head. And well, if he did dream about he and Louis, it was bound to happen.

**

The one thing about Louis and Harry’s relationship was that Louis didn’t know the extent of Harry’s depression. He didn’t know that it was literally killing him inside and the was no one who could really do anything about it.

He didn’t know that the nights that Harry disappeared into his room were because he would to drink and drink until he passed out. He didn’t like doing it, but it was the only thing that helped, the only thing he could do to help take the pain away. He didn’t like sharp objects or fire, so he could never self harm himself, he just  _couldn’t_. So, drinking and drinking is the way to go. Well, in Harry’s book it was.

Harry sat at the edge of his bed, bottle in hand as he swayed back and forth. He had a drunken smile on his face as he recalled everything that had happened in the past few months with Louis. He was just about to get up and leave his room, but something stopped him, something inside him told him  _no_ , so he stayed there. Even when Louis knocked on his door telling him goodnight, he didn’t reply. Louis took that as he was already asleep, but he wasn’t.

Once Louis ventured into his room, he laid silently on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His wrists were itching with anticipation, and he needed to fall asleep before he could succumb to the want, the  _need_.

He rolled over and closed his eyes, but once he was just about to fall asleep, his room was lit up from a stroke of lightning, followed by a roll of thunder. He hated storms; he didn’t like the noise that they held. He always would end up like a zombie in the morning because he just couldn’t sleep. So, after ten minutes of the constant noises, he ventured to Harry’s room, a place he’d never been to.

He knocked on the door loudly. “Harry, I can’t sleep, can I sleep with you?” He heard the rustling of sheets and some whispers. Harry opened the door and the light in the hallway basically blinded him.

It had been about two hours since Louis had said goodnight, and Harry had had a little bit of a nap, so he had sobered up just a bit. But the alcohol smell on his breath would be evident if Louis were to kiss him.

“What’s wrong, Lou?” Harry asked as he led him into his room and he excused himself to the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth before returning to let Louis answer his question.

“I don’t like thunderstorms; they are too loud.” Harry slipped into the bed next to Louis. They faced each other and they were close enough to where their noses touched slightly.

Louis moved closer and put one of his legs in between Harry’s; not too close to Harry’s area, but close enough to feel the heat radiating off of it.

Louis brought down his hand and intertwined it with Harry’s; he squeezed it slightly before he took the chance to press his lips to Harry’s. They start to move their lips against each other, and Louis pressed his tongue against Harry’s bottom lip, letting it slip through as Harry opened his mouth slightly. Harry let Louis lick around his mouth a bit before he wanted to take control of the situation. Harry entered Louis’ mouth and he instantly tasted the sweetness of his favorite tea and chocolate. He loved the taste that Louis had to offer, but he wondered what he had tasted like, probably mint since he had just brushed his teeth.

Louis was the first to break away, he softly pecked Harry’s lips a few more times before they both had to catch their breath. Their pupils were blown out slightly, and they both couldn’t be happier.

They kept staring at each other, until a loud roll of thunder broke them out of their trance and Lou whimpered slightly. He cuddled into Harry’s chest as Harry rubbed his back softly and felt his breathing even out.

And if this wasn’t part of Louis’ plan to help Harry, then we’ll just let this one slide-- after they continue on with their snogging session for the rest of the night.

**

After all this time, you would think that everything in Harry’s life had changed, but it was far from. He still got those suicidal tendencies, like always, but he didn’t dare tell Louis. Louis still didn’t even know about how he came about with what was happening in his life. Likewise, Harry didn’t know Louis’ story yet. He didn’t even know that Louis was depressed, because well, he didn’t show it.

“Lou?” Harry poked at Louis’ face as he tried to wake him up.

“What?” Louis spoke as he nuzzled his face into Harry’s chest.

“Can you move off of me, I need to pee and your knee is pushing into my bladder.”

“Oops, sorry.” Louis rolled over and Harry quickly got up to relieve himself. He rolled over onto his stomach and cuddled into the pillow. As he was ready to slip back to sleep, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a pair of lips softly pressing onto the back of his neck. He smiled slightly and turned his head to face Harry. He pecked his lips and closed his eyes, dreaming of what could be.

 _“No...no...stop...dad...please!”_  Harry started to thrash in his sleep and it was starting to freak out Louis. He had woken up with Harry kicking and screaming. He needed to get him to stop, but it just wasn’t happening. Harry simply wouldn’t calm down and Louis didn’t know what to do.  Louis decided at the last minute to grab Harry’s arms and straddle his hips.

“Harry, love, wake up,” Louis spoke calmly as he held down Harry. After a few more times of him calmly talking, Harry opened his eyes and immediately started crying. He was in hysterics and Louis was there with him every step of the way.

Louis was still straddling Harry’s hips after he got him to stop crying. He moved the wrong way and it affected Harry in a way that made him utter out a moan. Louis felt Harry harden under him and his face went crimson.

“Umm...sorry.” Louis was about to move off of him when Harry grabbed his face and connected their lips in a heated kiss. Louis immediately allowed him entrance as they both moved their tongues around each other, the kiss was more tongue and spit than anything else. Harry arched his back and their arousals rubbed against each other. Louis whined in Harry’s mouth and they broke the kiss only to shed each other of their clothes. They were soon bare and just staring at each other as they caught their breath.

That night, Harry gave something to Louis that no one ever had before; he gave him the love and protection that one and only one person can. The love that was shown as he slowly thrusted inside of Louis at a slow and constant speed, and the affection spoken through the kind and soft words that were spoken right into Louis’ ear.

Harry was in love, and he didn’t know how to show it, so he did it the only way he could. The look he gave Louis as he first penetrated his walls showed much more than ever before.

**

Louis turned his head and locked eyes with Harry. Harry was smiling proudly, and Louis was happy that Harry was happy. He’d never been this happy before and it was the best thing in the world. The weight on his chest, it was a wonderful feeling.

Louis intertwined their fingers together and asked the one thing that he had wanted to for a long time. “Harry, I’m curious, what happened?” Harry stiffened, but didn’t let go of Louis’ hand. In fact, he only gripped it tighter.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know your life story, what happened to make you the person you are today,” Louis spoke. A few tears trickled down Harry’s face and he was there to quickly wipe them away.

“It’s too much, it’s too much…” Harry let go of Louis’ hand and charged to the bathroom. The tears were flowing freely down his face and Louis didn’t move. He needed to get Harry to this state, he needed him to just cry everything out, it was good to cry.

After a few more minutes, Louis got off the bed and walked over to Harry. He was on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. Tears were still spilling down his face and he was just staring at the wall. Louis got down to his level and grabbed his face, “Harry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to; I was just curious.”

Harry shakes his head, “No, I need to tell you; if we’re going to be serious with this relationship, there needs to be no secrets.”

“Then let’s get a cuppa and we will cuddle, then take it slow with the explanation,” Louis spoke softly and kissed Harry’s forehead before he got him off the floor and onto the bed.

Louis returned with the tea and some cookies and he set them on the table by the bed before getting into the bed. Harry curled himself next to Louis and placed his head on his chest.

“My childhood wasn’t the best; my parents weren’t ever there for me. My sister didn’t like me, my older brother didn’t even acknowledge my existence until he went off to Afghanistan. He never liked me, made my life a living hell, but once he went away to the army, he finally knew what he was doing to me. He literally broke down in front me and called himself all these names, and I didn’t know what to do. Then we got closer to each other, more than ever, and he would protect me,  _protect me from my father_.”

“My father wasn’t the best person in the world, he made my life a living hell. He was always drunk and abusing me. My mother didn’t care about what he would do to me. My sister would laugh when he would hit me because he never hit his little girl. My family never liked me because I was a surprise, I made it so my mom couldn’t have anymore kids, so they hated me for that. They called me a disgrace and an abomination; they never wanted me. They only kept me because of the money from the government since neither of my parents had a job, and my dad was an army veteran.”

Harry was just staring at the wall ahead of him as he spoke to Louis. “But then my brother got deployed. My family was upset, but I was the worst. My father told me to suck it up and he slapped me in the face as I cried hysterically. My brother held me until he needed to go and the last words he spoke to me were, “Don’t let them get to you, you’re stronger than them. I love you bud.”

“What do you mean, last words?”

“About a month after he was deployed, he got caught in a cross fire. He was killed instantly.”

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it slightly.

“After that, my world shattered. My father got worse and my mother was never out of her room. My sister moved out for college, so it was just my father interacting with me. It got to the point where he would always stare at me while I was sleeping.”

“Please don’t tell me...” Louis said and Harry just nodded slightly as the tears cascaded once more down his face.

“One night he came in, and he made me do so much to him...it was horrible, and it felt like he tore me in so many ways. The feeling that I had for the next few days haunted me for the rest of the year. The abuse continued until he got arrested for stealing alcohol, but after that my mother  kicked me out of the house. I found this family who took me in and they noticed so many things off about me, but they never commented on it. They only held me when I cried or when I woke them up kicking and screaming in my sleep. Eventually, they were the ones who took me to the psychologist and that’s where I was diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety and slight bipolar disorder. Everything was brought on from childhood traumatic events.”

“I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that. But why don’t you have an outburst?”

“It’s not your fault, don’t worry. And it’s because I got used to not being around anyone, so I stayed calm. My psychologist took me off the meds when I hadn’t had an outburst in over a year.” He sighed and Louis nodded, letting him continue.

“But everything got worse when the family I was living with was killed in a car crash. They were all killed instantly, and I lost everything at that point. The police had found a last will and testament of the couple; they were an older couple and they left everything to me. They didn’t have any children, and I was the closest they had. They left all their money, even the house we’re in right now. If it wasn’t for them I don’t know where I’d be; I owe everything to them.”

“Wow, I didn’t think the story would be this heartbreaking. I’m sorry that there was no one; I’m sorry that I couldn’t have been there for you. I’m sorry.”

“No, Louis, you didn’t know, you didn’t know who I was. There is no need to be sorry; there is no need for you to say that,” Harry spoke and he softly kissed Louis.  

“So is there anything I should know about? Any of your deep dark secrets?” Harry spoke and Louis just shook his head.

“Nope, nothing.”

And that was the first time that Louis lied to Harry, he hated it but he didn’t want Harry to have to worry about him. He wanted his happiness to flourish, not plummet.

**

Once Harry told Louis why he became like this, everything changed, and Harry wasn’t liking it. He felt trapped; everywhere he went, Louis was right behind him. He didn’t want it like this; he loved what Louis was doing to help him, but he wanted his freedom.

It had been exactly three days and it had been torture in Harry’s eyes. He couldn’t even go to the bathroom without having Louis right behind him and waiting for him to finish. Harry was going crazy, so he waited for Louis to go to the bathroom and he locked the door to his room.

He laid back and sighed deeply. He looked to where his stash was, and there wasn’t anything there. He could have sworn that there was still at least one bottle left, but where was it? He looked all around the room and he couldn’t find it. His head snapped up at the knock that rippled through his ears.

“Harry? You okay?” Louis sounded concerned, and then it hit him, he probably knew where it went.

He walked over and opened the door, “Lou, were you in my room?”

“Yes.”

“Did you take anything out of my room?”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“And why did you take said item out of the room?”

“Because I have had to deal with an alcoholic abusive father my whole life; I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t need anyone else to hurt me. I’m sorry.” Tears were flooding his face and he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Harry’s heart broke and he was speechless.

He took Louis into his arms and let him cry, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s part of my life that I don’t want to remember. One day, one of these days I will tell you and show you everything there is to know about me. But now it’s time for you to get better, time for you to realize what life is like being happy.”

And that was the day that Harry’s heart broke, broke into a million pieces. But it broke not for being sad, but for the fact that Louis would give up everything that could help himself to help Harry. Harry smiled down at Louis and kissed his lips with every feeling that was coursing through his veins at that very moment.

And well, if they ended up under the covers after a slow love making, then it would be just between their eyes and their eyes only.

  
**


	2. 2.

Part 2.

 

The next morning, Harry was the first of the two up, and he noticed something on Louis’ hip as he rubbed subtle circles with his thumbs. He felt raised and bumpy skin. He pulled off the covers and he put his hands over his mouth as he sobbed violently. All over Louis’ hips, stomach and thighs were scars, many of them. Some were raised higher than the others, telling Harry how deep and how old they were. Louis had rolled over in his sleep and was now on his back, exposing everything for Harry to see.

And that was when he noticed there were fresh cuts; they were angry red and irritated. They barely had a scab on them. He continued crying and soon, Louis woke up. His eyes went wide when he realized what Harry had discovered.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered as he covered himself up with the covers and Harry just shook his head.

“Why?”

“Excuse me?” Louis looked up from where his fingers were pulling at the strings hanging off the blanket.

“Why? Why did you do that to yourself?” Harry whispered and Louis just pulled the covers tighter around him.

“Because people love to make my life a living hell. Day in and day out, constant torment and abuse; it was the only thing that kept me sane,” he spoke as he played with a few loose threads on the blanket.

“Why are there fresh ones? Why!?” Harry’s voice raised an octave; he sounded scarier since his voice cracked from the heavy crying.

“I don’t know, it was when I found the alcohol. Everything came back, all the abuse, emotional and physical, the torment from bullies. I just wanted everything stop. You weren’t home and I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t want to put this all onto you. I coped with it the only way that I have been able to do since I was fifteen.”

“You should have come to me, I would have helped you. You have helped me so much; it wouldn’t have been too much of a hassle for me to help you. You should have known that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, but next time I will talk you through it. I will talk you out of trying to do anything.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t do it to kill myself.”

“I didn’t even ask that.”

“But, you were thinking it.”

They didn’t speak for a few minutes until Harry spoke up. “Come on, let’s get those cleaned up,” He rolled out of the bed and picked up Louis, who protested but then nuzzled into his chest after Harry shushed him with a nice long, deep kiss.

He set him on the counter and Louis showed him the fresh cuts. Harry got out the peroxide and cotton. He went to the bath and turned on the water. “But first, let’s take a bath.”

Louis slapped Harry because he knew the reference that he was getting at. They both laughed and Harry got in front of Louis, putting both arms on each side of him. He pressed his forehead against Louis’ before he went and started to kiss from Louis’ left collar bone, up his neck and right onto his lips. The kiss soon turned hot and heavy and they were already bare, so it was only a matter of time before they would have done something like this.

He reached down and grabbed Louis’ shaft and pumped him to complete hardness. He let him go and Louis whined into his mouth. Harry broke the kiss before he turned off the water. He got in and started to subtly pump himself. He looked to Louis, who had his eyes locked onto his hand, and motioned for him to come over. He jumped off the counter and ploped onto Harry’s lap.

He surged forward and kissed Harry hard. He was still stretched out from last night, and he slowly eased himself onto Harry’s shaft. Louis was soon riding Harry with all that he could muster.

“Fuck... _Harry_ ,” Louis moaned loudly as he came all over Harry’s chest, who followed soon after. Louis slumped onto his chest as they both caught their breath. Harry pulled him off and set him back down on his lap.

Harry washed him up carefully, and washed his hair before washing himself up. Louis got out of the tub and Harry pulled the plug and the water went down the drain. He grabbed a towel and toweled himself off before looking up to a still sopping wet Louis. He grabbed the other towel and toweled him off, carefully dabbing over the cuts. He looked at the towel and noticed that it turned a light shade of pink, and he sighed before he threw it into the laundry bin.

He lifted Louis onto the sink and cleaned off each of the cuts. He bandaged them up before he went to fetch some clothes to wear. He helped Louis get clothed and then just slips on his pants.

“Today feels like a cozy day with movies and tea.”

“Sounds good.”

And that was how they spent the day, cuddled up on Harry’s bed watching random movies that they found on the television. Harry would occasionally rub over the scars and Louis’ heart would stop, but nothing would be said between the two. Louis would just move closer to Harry as he placed his head into the crook of his neck.

Harry turned his head and kissed the top of his head. He was happy with how his life was right now, but all that coursed through his mind was  _when will it all end?_

 

**

 

After that night, things changed. Harry started to make sure that Louis would always tell him when he was feeling down. Harry cut down on the alcohol because he never wanted to hurt Louis, but there was still some days where Harry did go over. Those nights, Louis locked himself in his room until Harry sobered up or fell asleep, whichever came first. Either way, he would end up curled up next to Harry, sleeping the rest of the night away.

Harry would periodically check on Louis to see if there were any new cuts that would appear. Every time he wouldn’t see any or just one, he would smile. He would hug Louis and whisper, “Good, you’re getting there.”

Louis would then rub at his arms and look up to Harry, “I love you.”

Time froze, he didn’t mean to say that, he slapped a hand over his mouth as his eyes went wide. Harry’s eyes widened, but his stare softened as he grabbed Louis’ hand and intertwined it with his own. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Louis’ softly. “I love you too,”

he mumbled against Louis’ lips, and for once, Harry meant it.

 

**

 

You would think that things were getting better, but they weren’t; they were getting worse. Louis had this sort of clingy personality and it was driving Harry insane. If you thought that the first time was annoying, this time Harry was literally pulling his hair out.

It didn’t get worse until Louis started to ask if he could go to the psychologist with him. Harry thought it was weird, but he didn’t think about it and let him tag along. But he wouldn’t let him in the room with him and Louis threw a temper tantrum. Harry didn’t want Louis to come in with him because it was the only place where he could speak his mind without anyone judging him.

He watched as Louis plopped on the chair with a loud huff and folded his arms over his chest and pouted as Harry watched him. It was soon forgotten when Harry gave him his phone to play 2048 and Angry Birds. That boy was addicted to those games and the face he gave every time he lost was just as funny as the faces he made during the play of the said game.

Harry turned around and faced the doctor and smiled slightly. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s totally fine. Your boyfriend is adorable though.” Harry blushed slightly and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, he is.”

Harry followed the doctor into his office and the session started.

“So, Harry how is everything going?”

“Much better.”

“And could the reason be the new boy?”

Harry nodded. “He makes everything so easy. He makes me happy and always knows how to make me laugh.”

“Do you love him?”

“For once in my life, I can honestly say that I do. I can’t ever see myself without him, or him without me for that matter. He makes me a different person, makes it where I don’t have an attack. He’s always there to pick me up when I’m down. He’s there when I cry and can’t stop. He’s the only one that has ever been there to help me when I’m down. He’s the only one that I have loved that has truly cared for me.”

The doctor, who Harry had gotten to know as Dr. List, smiled at how Harry was speaking about Louis. He saw through the way that he was speaking about him that it was the real deal. List looked over Harry’s features as he continued talking about Louis, and he was impressed. He was getting better. He had been seeing Harry for about five years now and that was the happiest that he’d seen him. List stopped taking notes a long time ago. Harry felt more comfortable with having his full attention, and he was happy that he didn’t have his face in a notebook.

Harry rambled on and on, and well, List wasn’t too determined to stop his happiness, so thats all that went on during the session: Louis.

Dr. List bid him farewell until the next session and Harry left with an extreme smile. He told the secretary that he will still have the same time for his next appointment. He turned to Louis, who was already looking up from the game. “Ready to go?”

Louis nodded and hooked his arm with Harry’s. They both left the office with big smiles plastered onto their faces.

 

**

 

“Harry, stop it!” Harry was tickling Louis’ sides as they were spending the day at the beach. Harry had Louis pressed into the stand, while he was straddling him and tickling him. It wasn’t something that he would normally do, but he felt the need to have a good laugh.

Harry stopped tickling Louis, but he didn’t move from where he was positioned. Louis got a good look at Harry and he noticed how genuinely happy he was, happy that he finally had someone to care for him. Harry was still smiling and it made Louis’ heart melt because he knew that he was the main reason for that breathtaking smile etched onto his skin.

Louis brought his hand up to Harry’s face and he leaned into the touch, “I love you.”

Harry stiffened a bit, Louis knew he was scared, scared that everything that was happening wasn’t real. But Harry replied, “I love you too.”

He leaned down and kissed Louis softly on his lips. He sighed into the kiss; he knew that Louis had his best at heart. He pulled apart and looked around. Harry was always nervous in public, and he knew that there would always be someone who didn’t like him for who he was. But he looked around and everyone was paying attention to other things. He did manage to lock his eyes with a teenage lad who smiled at Harry and gave him two thumbs up.

Harry smiled and winked at him, “What was the wink for?”

“This guy was rooting us on,” Harry spoke, smiling down at Louis.

Louis chuckled before he grabbed the necklace around Harry’s neck and pulled him down. “Well, then lets give him a bit of a show.” Louis winked and Harry knew what he was trying to do.

“Lou, no; there are children around!” Harry whisper-shouted at him, only making Louis laugh quietly.

“Harry, you have one dirty mind, I was not thinking that-” Harry gave him a knowing look. “Okay, maybe I was, but I’m saving that for later.”

“Ohh, really?” Harry wiggled his eyebrows a bit. “So then what are you referring to now?”

“Well, before I got so rudely interrupted, I was actually thinking of going swimming and acting all couple like.”

Harry just shook his head, “Alright, why not.” He rolled over and got up and brushed off some of the sand. He helped Louis up, and they were soon running into the water. Louis winced slightly as the salt came in contact with a few of his cuts, but after a bit it soothed them.

Harry splashed Louis so much, he was tasting the salty ocean for the next couple of days.

But, when would all this happiness end? He wasn’t used to happiness continuing this long. Something was bound to happen to make it all go away.

  
**


	3. 3.

Part 3.

 

Harry told Louis that he had to go out and get some things from the store. He said he was going to be back in 15 minutes. It had been over an hour and Louis hadn’t heard from Harry. He kept calling his phone, but nothing. He started to freak out because he was thinking the worst thing possible.

He started pacing and pacing before his phone finally rang. “Hello?”

“Yes, is this a Louis Tomlinson?”

“Speaking, what’s happened?”

“You need to get down to the London Emergency right now.” The person on the other end hung up and Louis quickly grabbed his keys and bolted out to his car. He was very certain that he broke many speeding laws as he made his way to the hospital, but he didn’t care. He needed to know what happened to Harry. He didn’t start crying; no he couldn’t yet. He was only in the stage that was causing frequent panic and he wanted to know if Harry was okay.

He pulled into the parking lot and was lucky that there was a valley. He got out of the car and tossed the keys to the fellow at the podium. He ran inside right to the nurses’ station. “Excuse me, I just recieved a phone call telling me to get here.”

“Are you a Mr. Louis Tomlinson?” The nurse spoke as she looked at him with concern.

“Yes, yes I am him.”

“Okay, I want you to calm down. Go up to floor four and take the left off the elevator; there will be another nurses’ station for you to go to. Talk to Cassie, she will tell you everything. But please just calm down, you’re getting pale.”

Louis started to breathe in and out slowly, trying to calm himself down. “Okay, good. Now when you get there, don’t freak out.” He nodded and removed himself from how he was leaning on the counter. He then walked to the elevator to take it up three floors, and as soon as it dinged signaling that it reached his destination, he braced himself before the doors opened. He turned left and made his way to the nurses station and there was only one person there. She looked up and he asked, everything coming out in a stutter, “Are you Cassie?”

She nodded. “And are you Louis?” And he nodded as well.

“Okay, would you follow me please?” She took off and led him into a room set off from the rest of the area.

“What-what happened to Harry?”

“I’m sorry, but on his way home he was jumped. The men that jumped him beat him and brutally raped him; he’s lucky he’s alive and breathing. When the paramedics were called, the guy had to put all his weight onto the wound that was in Harry’s side. If it wasn’t for the guy doing that, Harry would have bled out.”

Tears were pouring down his face. “What?”

“I’m sorry that this happened. Would you like me to tell you anything else?”

“What else did they do?”

“That’s really all; now it’s just a waiting time until he wakes up.”

Louis’ head snapped up. “Until he wakes up?”

“I’m afraid that the doctors had to put him into a medically induced coma because he was in a so much pain. But they only gave him enough for his body to heal, and then it will be up to him until he wakes up.”

“Okay, can-can I see him?”

“Sure you can; follow me.” She led him into a room in the corner. She must have read his history because he always loved the corners, even when he was with Louis. “Before you go in, do you know how to contact his parents?”

He stiffened up and turned to her. “Please don’t contact them, they’ll only trigger his panic attacks.”

“Do you know if there is any family that I can contact?”

“No, I’m the only thing he has. The only thing that he is holding on for.”

Cassie’s heart shattered from what he said. The boy lying in bed was broken before any of this happened. She watched as Louis made his way over to the boy lying down, machines and plugs all around him. She watched as Louis brought a hand to his mouth and let out a loud sob. Her heart broke when it resulted in him crying his heart out onto his chest, soaking the hospital gown with his own tears. She put a hand to her heart and a few tears trickled down her face, but she was quick to wipe them away.

She knew that she needed to do anything in her power to make sure that Harry was going to make it. Seeing that display, she knew that these boys held on to each other because to them both, they were all that they had.

She shut the door, leaving themselves their own privacy for the time being.

**

“Harry, baby, I love you. Please won’t you open up your pretty eyes for me,” Louis spoke softly. It had been a week since the incident and the doctors told him that the medicine had worn off; now it was just the wait for Harry himself to wake up.

Louis grasped Harry’s hand that wasn’t hooked up to any wires and he set his head down onto the bed. He hadn’t left Harry’s side, only leaving when he needed to shower and eat, but once he was finished, he was right back next to Harry. The nurses felt sorry for him because they never once saw the smile that Cassie was able to get out of him at one point, but now he looked drained.

The color in his face was gone, and the glimmer in his eyes was no longer there. Cassie really tried to get him to laugh, but every time it was a failure, but he did thank her for trying. Everytime she would come in, she would have a cookie or a hot tea for Louis and he would accept it after mumbling a quiet thanks.

Louis quietly sipped at his tea and continued to watch as Harry was still sleeping. He sighed and thought of everything that he and Harry had done in the past year. After he thought about it, he realized that he’d known Harry for about a year, and they’d been dating for six months. He really couldn’t believe how much time had gone by.

He finished his tea and noticed that Harry had moved his body a bit towards the other side of the bed. He was startled because there was just enough room for him to lie right next to him. In a hurry, Louis ran out to find Cassie and in hysterics, he told her that he moved from his spot on the bed. She ran after him and smiled softly, “It’s a sign that his body is starting to let him wake up; he should be up mid next week, maybe even sooner.”

Louis smiled, he actually smiled, and it made Cassie really happy that she was able to witness such a sight. She’d never seen a smile so bright. “Go on, lie down next to him. I think he’s also telling you that he wants you to lie next to him.”

Cassie left the room and shut the door behind her. Louis walked over to the empty side of the bed. He slipped out of his shoes and curled his body around Harry’s. He carefully set his head onto his chest and fell asleep to the steady beat of his heart.

_“Harry, do you think that we could be together forever?” Louis spoke as they were sitting on their back porch looking at the stars._

_“I don’t see why we can’t.”_

_“Really?” Louis turned to look at Harry and he could see the tears form in the corner of his eye._

_“Yes, really because you, Louis, are the one that I want to spend my life with.” Harry leaned down and kissed Louis with everything that he could._

Louis peeked open his eyes and thought hopefully that forever doesn’t go away too soon, because he wanted to spend forever like how it was supposed to go.

**

  
Louis had woken up and he just really wished that Harry would finally wake up, but still no sign. He climbed out of the bed and sat on the chair next to the bed. He turned on the tv and put on old reruns of “Friends.” He really didn’t care, but he knew that this show always calmed Harry down when he was feeling down.

He was scrolling through his phone when a knock interrupted his thoughts. “Lou, the police dropped off his personal items. I figured I could let you go through them.”

“Thanks,” Louis mumbled as Cassie placed Harry’s belongings in his outstretched arms. She quietly left the room, wanting to give him some privacy once he saw what was in Harry’s possession at the time of the attack.

He opened up the bag and he noticed his wallet, keys, inhaler, but there was something that he hadn’t seen before. He went inside the plastic bag that the stuff was sealed in and his eyes widened and he felt his heart stop.

In his hand was a little black box. With his shaking hands he opened it up. His hand went up to his mouth as he let out a violent sob. He dropped the stuff to the floor as he ran out of the hospital. He couldn’t deal with it; he just couldn’t deal with what he saw.

As Louis ran, Cassie yelled his name but he didn’t stop and she couldn’t go after him; she wished she could have though. She went back into Harry’s room, and she went over to where the stuff was spilled to the floor. She gasped at the opened black box. It was an engagement ring, but why did--a light went off in her head; Harry went out to get the ring and the men who attacked him were after this, and yet, he didn’t give it up.

She ran back to the desk and called the police; she explained it and they thanked her for her information. She just needed to find Louis, but first she closed the box and it snapped closed. There was a faint beep coming from Harry’s room that she could just make out. She carefully walked back to the room and a voice startled her. “Excuse me, but why am I here?” She looked up and paged the doctor. Harry was finally awake. But Louis’ wasn’t here to see.

“Hello Harry, I’m Cassie and you were attacked about three weeks ago.”

“What? What about Louis? Is he alright?"

“I can assure you that Louis is fine, but he sort of ran off.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean he ran off?”

“Well, he sort of found this,” she hands him the box and opens it. “I think he ran off because he thinks it’s all his fault that you were attacked.”

“But it wasn’t his fault though.”

“He still thinks it is because you were out getting this, possibly to purpose to him, and now he feels awful.”

“He shouldn’t feel awful, I love him so much I wanted to make it official.”

“I know, but let’s just get through one thing at a time; the doctor should be in with you to go over everything with you.”

“What about-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go find him. Do you happen to have any ideas?”

“The park, he always went there to clear his head.”

“Okay, now don’t panic, the next time you see me I’ll be with Louis. Alright?”

“Yes, thank you for everything.”

“It’s the least I could do. Besides, he hasn’t left your side since you’ve been here, so I cannot tell you enough that he feels the same way.”

“Yeah, I am fully aware.”

“Good, I will see you soon.”

“Thank you again.” She nodded before she decided to take her break by looking for the running boy. She kept her beeper on, just in case, as she got into her car and drove off to the park to find Louis.

 

**


	4. 4.

Part 4.

 

Louis ran, he didn’t know why, but he felt like it was the right thing to do at the moment. He made it to the park and sat down at one of the benches. He set his elbows on his knees and put his arms over his head, and he kept crying. 

He thought it over inside his head, Harry  _loved_  him, really loved him. He was ecstatic, but he didn’t want to think him being the reason that Harry was attacked. If it wasn’t for Harry falling in love with him, then none of this would have happened. Harry would still be the same. But he’s not, he never will be.

Louis stopped crying, it wasn’t like he wanted to stop, but he was all cried out. Even though the tears had stopped flowing, he was hiccuping from the constant screams that came from his mouth as he cried. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and finally looked up to take in his surroundings. There wasn’t anyone else in the area, like always, and he loved that he was able to come here and be alone to collect his thoughts.

“Lou?” Louis looked up and saw Cassie.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered as he looked at his hands in his lap.

“It’s Harry-”

“What happened? Is he okay?” He frantically asked as he got up off the bench.

“He is fine, but why don’t you ask him yourself?”

“Wait, what?”

“Louis, he’s awake.” Louis looked to Cassie, he didn’t have anything to say, but he bolted off in the direction of the hospital. “Louis, don’t run I’ve got my car!” Cassie yelled at him and she beeped her car as she quickly got over to get into the driver’s seat. Louis was already eager for her to drive off, and she literally screamed at him to calm the fuck down. He whispered an apology and scooted back in the seat. Cassie got back to the hospital and Louis barely even let her stop the car before he was out the door and in the hospital.

Louis didn’t want to wait for the elevator, so he ran up the stairs, right to the 4th floor. He got to the nurses’ station and he had to brace himself before he went in. He still needed to get over the fact that Harry might be more broken than usual.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Lou, don’t worry. Everything is fine with Harry.”

Louis nodded and he sent Cassie a shy smile before he finally walked into the room.

“Lou!” Harry had on a big smile and he opened his arms for Louis to take in his embrace. Louis carefully put his body on Harry and they both hugged, neither wanting to let each other go. Louis was bawling into Harry’s chest, and all Harry could do was rub his back to try to calm him down. In the process, Louis ended up on top of Harry, with his legs in between Harry’s. No word was said between the two. Louis ended up crying himself to sleep. Harry was carding his fingers through his hair and looking at the ring that he had in his hand.

“You know, I don’t think that boy slept more than a few hours a day since you’ve been here.”

Harry looked up at the nurse. “He worries too much.”

“He only has a good heart. He may worry too much, but with good intention. Don’t lose him; he’s definitely a keeper.” Cassie left the room, and Harry looked down at the sleeping boy who curled himself into a ball. He smiled softly and decided to take a nap since there wasn’t anything to do with Louis being a asleep and all.

As soon as Harry closed his eyes, everything came back to him. He didn’t like it one bit, though. He started to scream, and Louis had to literally move on top of Harry more to calm him down because he was thrashing so much. “Harry, love. It’s me Louis. You’re alright,” he calmly spoke to Harry as he held his arms down, careful of the cast that encased his left shoulder, only allowing his elbow down for free movement.

Cassie was already by Louis’ side, waiting if anything got worse, but Louis assured her that this was what calmed him down.

Harry was still crying in his sleep, and still did not pull through to be able to wake up. “Harry,” Louis cupped his cheek in his right hand. “Baby, come on, everything is alright. I’m here; you’re fine. Please open your eyes.”

Harry’s eyes twitched. “Alright, come on, let me see those beautiful eyes,” Louis continued to softly speak to him and he soon opened his eyes. “Ohh baby, are you alright?”

Harry nodded slightly. “The men, they did things to me, why did they do that to me?” Louis watched as Harry’s eyes filled with tears and he thumbed them away before responding to the hardest question he had to answer.

“If you are thinking that you deserved that beating, then you are wrong. What those men did to you was sick and wrong, they took advantage of a vulnerable person and hurt you. I don’t know why they did it to you, I don’t think they even know. They were just a bunch of drunk sick bastards who thought what they were doing was fun, but it wasn’t. Harry, you don’t need to worry about them; worry about yourself. Worry about making your life better, no matter what obstacle is thrown at you. Okay?”

“But will you still help me if I go down?”

“Harry, I’ll always be here for you. They will have to pry my cold dead hands off of you to get me to leave. Is that understood?”

Harry nodded frantically and leaned up carefully to kiss Louis’ softly on his lips. He mumbled something against his lips, but Louis didn’t catch it. “What?”

“I said,” Harry takes the black box and opens it, “Marry me.”

Louis knew this was coming, but didn’t know exactly when. He was still shocked. He nodded his head “yes” and Harry slipped the ring onto his finger carefully, and then to seal it, he pressed his lips to Harry’s with every emotion that he had in his body at that moment.

Cassie was still looking on, and she had her hand over her heart. These boys were really made for each other. She quietly stepped out and left them together to have the moment alone. She had to check Harry’s vitals and wounds in fifteen minutes anyway. They needed time to themselves before a nurse came in and ruined the moment.

That day was eventful, to say the least. Harry remembered, and Louis helped him, and in return the newly engaged couple were ready to leave the hospital in three days time. All happy endings right? I don’t think so.

 

**

 

After they left the hospital, everything went downhill. Harry shut Louis out, and it was breaking Louis. He tried to get to Harry, but everytime he went to touch him, he flinched. Louis couldn’t even touch his own fiancee without him flinching and it broke his heart. Everything that he would do, it didn’t even help. Granted, he was still able to sleep in the same bed, but it would start off with Harry having his back to Louis, as far away as the bed would allow him.

Harry even hated it. He was just scared, scared that Louis would stop loving him because of the terror that came with being raped. He always had the same dream and he couldn’t see anything, but the voices that he heard were traumatizing. The laughs, the sounds of zippers, and the grunts that each of the men had given him when they were pounding into him one after the other. He couldn’t stop hearing those noises repeat over and over inside of his head.

He started to whimper in his sleep, and Louis being the lightest sleeper was instantly coaxing Harry into his happy dreams, dreams of them together.

“Baby, it’s Lou. Remember, your fiancee? Think of my smile that you always have loved; think of the happy times together; think of our wedding day; think of the life that we are going to spend together.” Harry softened in Louis’ arms and turned his body into his embrace. Harry breathed in his familiar scent that he’d grown to love in the past year and fell into a dream state that he never wanted to leave.

_“Louis, where are you?” Harry called as he entered the house after a long day at work. After Harry was cleared from being a harm to himself, he was able to get a job that paid better and was more steady than the last one._

_“Bathroom!” Louis yelled back and Harry got a smirk on his face. He walked toward their room and kicked off his shoes, but he thought about taking off his clothes, and he sighed before deciding not to. He did, however, slip off his shirt. He tapped on the bathroom door lightly and Louis uttered a low “come in.” Harry saw that Louis was sitting quietly in the bath, reading a book. It was really odd though; he never reads._

_Harry sat at the edge of the tub and Louis was casually reading his book. Harry finally looked down at it and started laughing. “What? What’s so funny?” Louis looked up at Harry’s fit of laughter._

_“Why are you reading that book?” Louis looked at the cover and read “The Fault in Our Stars.”_

_“I’ve heard so much about it and I wanted to know if it was what people were saying. It’s really good, actually. But why were you laughing?”_

_“I don’t know, I just didn’t think that you’d read it, that’s all.”_

_“Neither did I, but once you start to read you can’t stop; it’s a drug.” Harry hummed in response and dipped the tips of his fingers into the warm, soapy water. Louis watched as he moved his fingers around in the water._

_Louis closed the book and tossed it to land onto his towel, “Wanna join?” He spoke as he waggled his eyebrows. Harry’s rose before he got an evil smirk. He noticed that Louis’ arm was moving in an up and down motion as he stripped down. Harry carefully got himself into the water and, well, Louis attacked him._

“Louis…mhmm..” Harry mumbled and Louis looked down, his eyebrows furrowed and wondered what he was dreaming about. He shrugged it off and clicked the lamp on and grabbed his book and decided to finally finish reading The Fault in Our Stars.

 

**

 

“Harry, for the last time, I’m not going to hurt you. How many times do I have to tell you?” Louis spoke as he softly rubbed up and down Harry’s arm. Harry had flinched when he first placed his hand on his arm, and Louis was kind of getting fed up. Harry saw that Louis was still wearing the engagement band, and he smiled slightly. He didn’t understand how even after all of this time, Louis would still want to be with him. Even after he was broken, Louis was there picking up the pieces, but he didn’t know how he was going to help this time.

Harry shrugged. “I just don’t know, I’m sorry,” he slumped down to the floor. “I know that it’s you, it’s just whenever you touch me, I can’t help but flinch. This was how I was when my father first had done it, it took me a whole year for me to get comfortable with people touching me. I really don’t know how long it’s going to take this time. I’m sorry,” Harry placed his hand on Louis’ and started to shake. He didn’t like how he’d come to be; he just couldn’t help it.

Louis dropped down to his knees and held Harry as he cried. Louis just let him cry. He knew he needed to, even though that was what he had been doing for the past month or so.

Louis had known that the hospital would need Harry back in a few weeks for some other tests, mainly for STDs that those filthy men could have passed on to Harry. They had run some tests, but everything had come back inconclusive, so they told them to come back in two weeks to have the tests redone. Louis was hoping that it would all come back negative because it would break both of them if they weren’t able to be intimate with no attachments.

Louis knew that Harry was scared for his life of what he could have gotten; he could see it whenever Louis tried to get intimate and Harry stopped it. Louis knew that he was only trying to make sure that he didn’t contract it, but they could do other things, but Harry didn’t want to.

 

**

 

They stood in the middle of a doctors office while Harry shook like crazy because he didn’t want an STD; he really didn’t. Louis was right next to him, with a comforting hand squeezing Harry’s as the doctor went over the precaution for the STDs that he may have contracted. Louis was whispering sweet nothings into Harry’s ear when the doctor left. Well maybe not sweet, but stuff that he wanted to do to Harry once they got home. Let’s just say that Harry’s face was so red, the doctor looked confused.

“So, Harry, since I put a rush on your results, I have them right here.”

“Okay, so what does it say?" 

“But first, I need to talk to you about something major, okay?” Harry nodded, still shaking slightly. “So, of course you’ve heard of the HIV virus.” Harry nodded slowly, “That virus is tricky to diagnose early on because it doesn’t show up until almost six months after you were exposed to it.”

“So, we wait?” Louis piped up next to Harry.  
  
“That’s the best thing that we can do, but I would advise you to bring Harry back sooner to get the test done, just in case. But honestly, I’ve never really seen a case show up until the six month mark, but like I said, just to be safe you can come in anytime after three or four months.” The doctor looked on as Harry’s eyes were wide and concerned.

“Harry, don’t be scared. If you come earlier and it comes up,  the treatment can freeze it in its tracks.” Harry nodded at the doctors words, still a bit hesitant.

“So, what did the other results say?” The doctor opened up the folder and looked up and down. He smiled. “Harry, it looks like you’re clean, but if there are any sudden changes in anything, don’t hesitate to come back and make an appointment.”

“Okay,” Harry mumbled. He didn’t like how this doctor was so happy. He hated overly happy people. The doctor gave him some information on what he should look out for if he were to get any sort of STD. They left the office with the information and scared, thumping hearts beating in their chests.

 

  
**


	5. 5.

Part 5. 

 

The next couple of days were tough. Harry wouldn’t come out of his room and Louis couldn’t even coax his way in there and sleep with Harry. Louis didn’t pressure him when he said no, because he knew that Harry just needed some time. Louis did have trouble sleeping in the guest room because he couldn’t get Harry off his mind. He tossed and turned in his bed, looking at the clock and groaned because it had been four hours and he still hadn’t fallen asleep.

_“Louis, why did you fall in love with someone like me?”_

_“What do you mean, someone like you?”_

_Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. Broken?”_

_Louis laughed. “Honey, you do realize that I’m broken as well?” Harry sighed and Louis ignored it and continued on. “I fell in love with you because you didn’t have to do much for me to love you. You didn’t make it hard for me to love every piece of you, you were just you.”_

Louis threw the covers off of his body and decided to go get some tea to calm himself down. He turned on the kettle and sat on the couch to think about something. His mind kept wandering like crazy, going through the memories of the past year in his mind, and somehow ended when he first received torment by his bullies.

_Louis was walking down the hallway minding his own business when he was plowed to the ground. “Watch where you’re going you faggot,” the spat at him as he was on the floor. This was a time even before Louis had even came out to anyone. Even to himself, for that matter._

_He just collected his things and continued on with the rest of the day, hoping he could make it home in time to lock his door. He didn’t want to deal with his father; he just wanted to sleep._

What did I do to deserve any of this? Why can’t i just live a normal life?  _He sighed as his mind was wandering as he walked slowly home. He started to think about what the kid said to him earlier and he stopped in his tracks as he realized. A light bulb went off in his head. He was gay. He just accepted himself; he actually had a reason why he stared at the boys subtly in the locker room or why he would always picture kissing boys rather than girls. He smiled because he finally made sense of his feelings;_ it all _made sense now._  

Louis sighed because the very next day he accidentally came out to the school, and the torment was what caused a lot of things to happen in his life. It didn’t really help with his sudden onset of depression. It sort of made it worse. He never did go to a psychologist because he didn’t need to be diagnosed with depression to know that he had it.

He was broken out of his thoughts when the kettle went off. He got off the couch and got his tea. He usually doesn’t drink tea at this hour in the morning, but he felt like he needed to. He went back to the couch and his mind wandered even more.

“ _You filthy piece of shit, why can’t you be fucking normal!” Louis’ father screamed at him and slapped him across the face. Louis winced slightly at the sting that was left on his right cheek. He knew there would be a handprint bruise there in morning. “Answer me when you are spoken to!” He slapped him again and again and again. It was to the point that Louis’ cheek was so swollen that he couldn’t see out of his right eye. He knew it was not going to be able to be covered up so he braced himself for the torment that would happen tomorrow._

Louis cringed as his remembered everything from his past, and he started crying about the one memory he didn’t want in his mind, ever. The first time he took a blade to his skin.

_Louis was running home from school, the bullies close behind him. He didn’t even know why they were running after him, to be honest, but he didn’t want to find out. He tried, really tried to keep his speed from slowing down. He ran and ran, he saw that his house was getting closer and closer, but so were the kids behind him. He just needed that extra push to be able to get to the door, and just as he reached his house, his father pulled up into the driveway._

_He came out of the car and strolled over to Louis, “Hey bud, are those your friends?” Louis shook his head no, and his father then shooed them away. Louis uttered a soft thank you before he walked into the house, awaiting his beating. But he didn’t get one. His father actually left him alone._

_Louis went into his room and locked it. He went over in his head what had gone on that day and he started crying. He tugged on his hair hard and screamed. He knew that he would have to keep quiet, but he really didn’t care. He went into his bathroom and pushed everything to the floor. He plopped on the toilet seat and noticed that somehow the razor broke apart to where the blades scattered on the floor._

_He picked one up and inspected it and looked to his wrist. He pulled his sleeve up, and well, you know the rest._

Harry found Louis passed out on the couch, with tear stains on his cheek and a half drunk tea on the coffee table beside him. He grabbed the cup and dumped the contents down the drain, figuring Louis would want a new cup when he woke up.

Harry entered the living room with a new steaming cup of tea, and Louis rolled over facing the back of the couch. Harry noticed that his shoulders were shaking slightly, and he was quick to notice the soft whimpers falling from his mouth. 

Harry climbed on the couch and pulled Louis closer to him. He managed to get him to roll over and was now crying into his chest. Harry rubbed his back soothingly, letting him continue to cry.

“Lou, what’s wrong?”

“Just some memories came back to mind. I’m fine now.”

“You’re still crying. Talk to me.”

“I just sort of remembered the first time I had self harmed and it brought back terrible memories.”

“I’m sorry Lou, it’s alright to cry. Everything is alright.” Louis nodded his head against Harry’s chest. Harry didn’t ask him anything about his memories; he just held him. 

“The taunting, the tormenting, the abuse. I just don’t understand why it had to happen? Why couldn’t I just live in a normal world, with people who understood me?” Louis spoke up and Harry didn’t say anything. “The kids would beat me and then I would get home for my drunk ass father to beat me. I never knew why he did it. Like, after a while I tried to convince myself that I deserved it.”  
  
“No, no Louis. No one ever deserves something like that. Coming from someone who had to endure it as well, no one ever deserves to be hit, to be beaten or harassed. It just happens because that person is sick in the head or they get bored.”  
  
“I know, I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for, alright?” Louis nodded and snuggled his head into Harry’s chest before sighing.

_Harry heard snickering coming from outside his room. He curled himself up into a ball. “Harry, my boy, don’t be shy; this will all be over very soon.” Harry was physically shaking. He didn’t want to know what was going to happen, but he couldn’t run._

_He was frozen with fear when his father pulled him down the bed and pulled off his pajama bottoms. He heard a belt hit the floor, and his eyes clenched shut. He passed out from the pain because he woke up with his clothes back on and a barely there memory of what happened the night before._  
  
Harry clenched his eyes shut, he couldn’t cry. He couldn’t cry, not when Louis was like this. He took some even breaths and the wave of emotions went away. Louis’ breathing had evened out, which meant that Louis was sound asleep. 

Harry went to move, but Louis’ grip became stronger, “No, don’t leave.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m right here.”

It was weird because that was the first time that Harry allowed Louis to touch him in a long time. Louis sighed in contentment, hoping that this would happen more often.

 

**


	6. 6.

Part 6.

 

_When you fall asleep  
_ _With your head upon my shoulder_

 

Finally after some time, Harry was confident with sleeping right up against Louis. Louis was happy, he really was. Harry slept like he always had, with his head on Lou’s shoulder, his slow breathing fanning Lou’s face with every exhale. Louis watched as Harry’s head rolled onto his chest and he started to run his fingers softly through his hair, something Harry always loved.

He noticed that Harry’s face started to twitch as he rolled over away from Louis. Louis sat up slowly and watched what was about to occur. Louis watched as Harry started to kick in his sleep, Louis panicked because he hadn’t had an attack like this in a couple months. What had brought it on?

 

_When you're in my arms  
But you've gone somewhere deeper_

 

Louis grabbed Harry and pulled him into his chest to try to calm him down. He was able to get him to stop kicking-- mind you he put his legs on top of Harry’s-- but he was still shaking. He didn’t know what was happening in his sleep, but it was terrifying Louis. He couldn’t even get the words out of his mouth to calm him down, something he always did. 

Louis started to rock Harry back and forth. Well, he tried to with the position that he was currently in. But he didn’t manage to do just that, and he heard Harry mumble a few things from his mouth. The same words were getting repeated, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Louis didn’t know what this meant, he wanted to know what it meant. He was thinking about asking Harry. Of course not right now, but when the time was right he would definitely ask him.

 

_Are you going to age with grace?  
_ _Are you going to age without mistakes?  
_ _Are you going to age with grace?  
_ _Are you going to leave a path to trace?_

 

Louis couldn’t sleep that night. All he thought about was Harry. Every time his breathing would quicken, Louis was there to make sure that he didn’t go into an attack. Louis just sat there for the majority of the night and watched Harry’s sleeping stature. Watching as he moved every so often, and he often thought that it was creepy watching him, but he was just looking out for him.

“Louis, why are you watching me?” Harry mumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Louis shrugged before replying. “You had a kicking fit earlier and you kept repeating nonsense in your sleep, I was just making sure that you were alright.”

“Ohh okay, but come here,” Harry opened his arms and Louis took the invitation to cuddle up into Harry’s chest. Harry rubbed Louis’ back and listened as his breathing even out. Harry was soon to follow.

 

_Only to wake and hide your face_

 

Harry woke up and Louis was turned the other way. Harry hid his face in his pillow because he knew that Louis was awake. “Harry, babe, what’s wrong?” Louis whispered into his ear.

Harry shrugged and mumbled some incoherent words into the pillow. Louis straddled his back and started to rub up and down his back. Louis leaned down and started to pepper kisses on the back of his neck. Harry groaned, and well, you know where it went after that.

 

_When oblivion is calling out your name  
_ _You always take it further than I ever can_

 

  
Louis didn’t know what happened. He didn’t know what went wrong. The yelling, the broken glass all around the living room. Everything was all just a blur. He couldn’t even look at Harry.

“Harry, please stop!” Louis whimpered and Harry just shook his head before he walked past him.

“Louis, you don’t understand, I will never be able to stop.”

“If you walk out that door, I won't follow you, I just can't.” Louis regretted those words as soon as he said them. He didn’t mean it, but he said it. Harry went wide eyed and he walked out the door and slammed it shut. Harry wrapped his arms around himself, the tiny jacket not helping; it was colder than he thought. Everything that happened in the past half hour was a blur. He didn’t know what was happening. He just wanted everything to be normal, and Louis wasn’t making it easy for him to be normal. He walked the familiar path and decided that there was only one thing that he needed to do at this point.

 

_When you play it hard  
_ _And I try to follow you there  
_ _It's not about control  
_ _But I turn back when I see where you go_

 

Louis wanted Harry, but he was gone, somewhere Louis didn’t want to be. He sighed because he couldn’t take his eyes off of the door through which Harry left. He could just picture what he had in store for tonight. It was in fact their anniversary, but he had to open up his big fat mouth and ruin everything. Louis was pacing back and forth in the living room trying to figure out where Harry could be.

The last words that he spoke to Harry were replaying over and over in his head. “Stupid, why would I even say that to him?” Louis whispered to himself. He needed to find Harry, he just needed to, but where would he be? His eyes widened and he knew one place that he knew where he had to look.

 

_Are you going to age with grace?  
_ _Are you going to leave a path to trace?_

 

All that was going through Louis’ head was that night that he first laid his eyes on Harry. He had known that he was planning on taking his life, but he couldn’t let him do it. He just couldn’t. Louis knew the way. He remembered everything that he and Harry had done in the past year since they’ve been together. His heart was beating out of his chest, and his palms were sweaty; he was hoping that he could make it on time. 

He looked at his watch and noticed that the time was familiar. It was exactly the same time from a year ago. His eyes widened. Harry is going to try and repeat history. He’s going to do what he tried to do a year ago; he’s going to jump. Louis started to pick up speed until he was in a full on run towards the park. He reached the beginning of the bridge and he saw a figure holding onto the light post attached the railing.   
  
“HARRY!” Louis screamed and it made Harry flinch, almost making him lose his balance. Louis noticed that Harry was crying as he looked down, he knew that Harry was afraid of heights, but why would he choose this as the way to go? Louis shook that thought out of his head and he slowly walked towards Harry.

 

_But oblivion is calling out your name  
_ _You always take it further than I ever can_

 

“Harry, you don’t have to do this!”

Harry laughs. “It’s nice to know you still care after what you said back in the apartment.” Harry shook his head softly, but still didn’t dare turn to look at Louis. Well, he couldn’t move or he’d fall. 

“I didn’t mean to say what I said-”

“Sure, save it. That’s all I’ve ever known, people use me or they hurt me. And you, you did both. Why? Why would you do this to me?” His voice cracked at the end and his lip quivered as a new flow of tears escaped from his eyes.

“Baby, no. I never used you. And I never meant to hurt you.”

“Sucks, because you just hurt me, you hurt me in the one place that you helped repair.”

“I’m sorry that it had to be this way. I know I said some things, but I was just aggravated about the whole thing. I haven’t been able to go near you in a whole week! I think I might be getting blue balls from this frustration that you’ve put me through!”  
  
Louis head a giggle, but Harry straightened himself up. “Stop trying to make me laugh, I’m mad at you.” 

Louis closed his eyes and blinked away his tears. “You want to know something? The real reason why I asked you where there is a good hotel?” 

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?” Harry was nervous, and he just wanted to end everything. End it all right here, but there was just one person that was preventing everything from happening. He always wondered why Louis even tried to help him.

 

_When oblivion is calling out your name  
_ _You always take it further than I ever can_

 

Louis stepped a bit forward and Harry moved away. Louis held out his hands in defeat, “A year ago, today actually, I was wandering around the city. I was actually looking for a place to go, since I had left home. I had ended up in the park, and I had noticed you walking. I knew the look that you had on your face, because it was the look I used to have whenever I walked through the halls at school. I noticed that you kept looking around. I noticed that you chose the specific time because no one else would be in the park at that time, which is about the same time it is now.”

Louis ran his hand through his hair and looked back up at Harry, who had turned around a bit. “At first, I thought that you were taking a midnight stroll, but this was weird. It was in the middle of winter, fucking cold and you were taking a walk. I knew I had thought maybe it was that you were taking a walk, but like I said, you kept looking all around you to see if someone was following you.”

Fuck, _is all that Harry was thinking as he was walking to the park. He had decided that tonight was the night that he would finally end his life. He looked to his right, his left, and he even turned around, but there was no one in sight. He looked ahead of him and his eyes set onto the bridge that he was going to jump from. His hands were shaking. He saw it in the distance; he was almost there until a voice broke him out of his silence. “Umm, could you help me find a place to stay?"_

_All that Harry could do was panic; he didn’t like talking to strangers. But this kid actually wanted to talk to him, to be his friend. They walked to his home in silence, and he had finally introduced himself to Louis before he walked straight into his room and shut the door._

_He sat on his bed and groaned because he just didn’t want to be alive anymore. He wanted to be somewhere else. As long as he wasn’t living he would be fine. After he took a shower, he noticed the clock showed that it was half past two a.m. He still heard the television on in the living room, so he had gone to investigate. He saw Louis passed out on the couch. When he told him he could take the guest room, he sighed before he turned off the television and looked down at the complete stranger sleeping. He picked him up and walked him into the guest room, pulling the covers over him, leaving to sleep himself. Louis never did mention anything, and Harry was grateful for that._

“Harry, the point is, I wanted to help you. I wanted to fix you, even though I was broken as well. I saw you as a challenge and I took it.”  
  
“And look where it has brought us-- right where we started.” Harry was crying again. He didn’t like crying in public, but this he will let slide.

“But that doesn’t mean we can still prevent this from happening.”

“How? I’ve made it this far. What makes you think I won’t just jump?”  
  
“Because even after all of this time, I’m still wearing the ring. The ring you gave to me, telling me that we will be married one day, but I guess you don’t want to since you’re willing to throw it all away.” Louis walked closer and it only had Harry paralyzed in fear.

  
  
  


_When oblivion is calling out your name  
_ _You always take it further than I ever can_

 

“So, what will it be? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me or without me?” Louis watched as Harry pondered in his mind. He rolled his eyes because Harry was actually thinking about which he would rather do.  
  
“I DON’T KNOW, SO STOP!” 

“Stop what? I’M ASKING YOU A FUCKING IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTION!”  
  
“I don’t know; I just want it all to stop. The nightmares, the memories, the scars, everything! I just want everything to be normal, but I don’t even know what normal is anymore because I’ve never been normal.”

“I’ve never been normal either, but what makes you think that we are normal?”

“Because we’re not, the way me met, the way that we got together is a bit farfetched, don’t you think?”

Louis nods. “But still, you have to think of how many times I held you when you screamed in your sleep, how I stood by you even when you didn’t want to touch me. Harry, I’ve been there for you, and who’s going to be there for me when I break?”

Harry turned around and faced the water down below. He watched as the tide hit the rocks at a treacherous speed and gulped. 

“I’m going to close my eyes, I don’t want to know what you choose.” Louis clenched his eyes shut after he moved closer to Harry. He heard a pair of feet slide on metal, and he braced himself for the impact of water, but what he didn’t expect was to be plowed to the ground.

He let out a loud groan as he hit the ground and wrapped his arms around Harry as he violently sobbed into his chest. He ran his hand through Harry’s hair slowly as he rubbed up and down his back. He didn’t know how long they stood like that, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was that he still had his Harry right there with him.  
  
Harry lifted his head from his chest and Louis wiped off his tears. “Hi there.”  
  
Harry smiled. “I love you, I’m sorry. I just-- I hate this feeling and I thought that this was the only decision.”

“No need to apologize. I totally understand. All that matters is that you are still here, with me.”

“With you,” Harry leaned down and pressed his lips against Louis’, smiling into the kiss. Louis broke the kiss and rolled them over so he was on top.

Harry looked up and cocked an eyebrow. He didn’t need to know rocket science to know what was about to happen. Louis started to kiss all over Harry’s face, saying “I love you, you idiot” over and over again. Harry smiled; he really loved Louis. He couldn’t picture himself with anyone else but him. 

Louis got up off the floor and held his hand out for Harry to take. He pulled him up and they walked back home together, ready to dream of the life they would spend together.

 

**

 

It wouldn’t be until a few months later that they would finally tie the knot. Louis had come back in contact with his family. His dad left while he was gone and his mother walked Harry down the aisle at their small wedding. Louis was happy that it wasn’t big because his mother and baby brother (who was just two years old) being there was the more than enough in his eyes.

“I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Tomlinson. You may now kiss.” 

“Gladly,” Louis whispered as he grabbed Harry’s face and kissed him softly. He heard the cheers from his family, his little brother clapping his hands frantically as he broke the kiss. He linked his hand with Harry’s and his mother looked on fondly.

“I’m proud of the man that you’ve become. So proud,” Louis’ mother spoke softly as Louis watched Harry talking excitingly to his new brother-in-law.

“Thank you mum. So I did well?” He asked curiously and his mother turned to watch as Harry showed a little magic trick to Sammie. 

“Honey, why are you asking me? You wear the ring now; that is the only answer I can give you. With the ring, it shows that you’ve made the only decision for yourself. You’re married now. My opinion with what you do will probably not matter anymore.” Louis nodded and he wrapped his arms around her. He took in her familiar scent before a little person tackled his legs. “Lou Lou!” He lifted his arms up to show that he wanted Louis to hold him.

He picked him up and set him on his right hip, “I love you, Lou Lou,” he whispered as he nuzzled his head into his neck. 

“And I love you too,” He kissed the top of his head and a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

He pecked Harrys lips, and sighed. Talking to Harry that night was the best decision that he could have ever made. He was happy with his life, and he was happy with having Harry right there with him every step of the way.

And before I forget, Harry ended up being clean for HIV, and they celebrated it the best way that they could. And well, you don't need to keep your mind out of the gutter because that’s not needed.

 

Even after all their ups and downs and every road block in between, Harry never did explode into oblivion.

 


End file.
